Finding My Voice

I grew up with stories of wonder; stories of make believe and fairytale. As an adult, I still see the world through rose colored glasses of wonder. I long to find it in people’s stories, in their journey through life. It fuels my soul and sparks something deep within me to see how intricately God has crafted each story and placed so much wonder within it. I’ve always felt that writing was one of the ways that I could share how I see the world, to share that wonder. As a wedding and portrait photographer, I’ve grown accustomed to showing the wonder of a love story, the wonder of a family, of those people you love and hold dear through the lens of my camera. And for awhile, I did write about those stories and share a bit of my own along the way. And then, in the spring of 2014 I lost my voice. In the spring of 2014 my husband and I discovered that we were likely to never have biological children. Becoming one of the one in six who journey through life with infertility was one of the benchmark events of my life and the hardest thing my husband and I had to face at that point in our marriage. During that time, I retreated my writing. I pulled back. I was grieving. I was processing. I was listening for the voice of the Lord and being comforted by Him and His word. I wasn’t ready to share and when I did want to share, I was unsure of how much to hold back. I so longed to protect my heart and the heart of my husband that I grew silent. My platforms online stilled as we waited on the Lord to show us what was next.

Now, nearly four years later, my husband and I have journeyed through our infertility to adoption. We now have the most precious gift and provision from our Father above in the form of our son. Those years have changed us…have changed me. I’ve grown. And now, as distance has provided a bit more emotional stability, I’ve found my voice. I suppose it was never really gone in the first place but rather scared. Scared to say something wrong. Scared to admit an emotion aloud. Scared to be vulnerable. Scared of reactions. Scared of input. Scared of being known. And while some of those fears still ring true, I know my voice is meant to be heard. Maybe just by one person. Maybe by twenty. Maybe by thousands. Someone out there is going through the very same stage of life my husband I were in years ago. Someone out there may be experiencing the same emotions I feel today and haven’t been able to voice them or find a safe place to shelter them. If that’s you, know that this can be that place for you. Reach out to me if you wish…I know that at times, our journey has felt extremely isolating. And if someone had said the words I wish to share to me along the way, I know my heart would have welcomed the reprieve, the permission, and the compassion. I so longed for a sense of community and understanding and relationship and now, I wish to create that others.

So here we are. The beginning of starting something new. Welcome to cassieolimb.com. A place full of the musings of a follower of Jesus Christ. A wife. A mother. Someone who has walked through infertility and into adoption. Someone who struggles to balance a love of all things food and drink with fitness of body, heart and mind. A believer in naps, yoga pants and a great glass of wine. I so hope that you find rest here. That you find community. That you find joy and hope. And above all, I hope you find the light of Jesus Christ here as we walk through life together. Welcome.